Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I'm not FAT, I'm PHAT

I got my much needed acupuncture treatment today. I haven't gone to see my Aunty Janice for a while because I had the K-laser therapy done at my rehab center and mum wanted to give it time to kick in. However, it was time for me to see MY Aunty Janice!!


As usual, I was sound asleep as soon as the first needle went in my head. My Aunty Janice specializes in acupuncture, and she found the acu-points for my L2 vertebrate to be sensitive. That's the same region as my Iliopsoas muscle. It's interesting how my rehab vet (specializes in muscles, etc) noticed a muscle strain, whereas my Aunty Janice noticed a L2 sensitivity. I guess you pick out problems from whatever it is that you specialize in.


STINKY came too cause mum wanted to have some kind of computer chip put in him.


I have one in me already, and mum wanted one in him as well in case he ever gets lost. I don't get it, why wasn't my tag for him good enough??? I mean, he would never get lost with this tag on him!


Also, can someone PLEASE tell me why he needs a computer chip if he is going to Taiwan??? UNLESS....... Oh no... no unlesses!

Now, the BIG news: I, Miss Sunshade, the SuperDALE weighs, as of today....

69.8 lbs!!!!!

Let me tell you, I weighed 60-62 lbs (my optimal weight) before my EVIL mum STOPPED letting me play off-leash, STOPPED taking me to MY SPAW for swims, and started doing the boring, short leash walks due to my muscle strain. No matter how hard I tried to convince her I was fine (some of you even agreed with me), she still wouldn't let me play off leash. Now that I weigh almost 70 lbs, she calls me a "fat fat girl"!!!!!

She says all that extra weight is not good for my joints, and that I move slower than before. That's suppose to be my fault??? I'm not the one stopping myself from playing off-leash or swimming you know mum!!!!!!


Even my Aunty Janice said I looked good, NOT FAT!!!! (mum: Dr. Crook is forever traumatized by the time when Sunshade dropped to 52 lbs (skin and bones), so she prefers Sunshade to be more beefy.)

My EVIL mum is thinking of cutting my fooooooooooood down, and I'm about to go NUTS here! I've been putting up with STINKY's 3-4 meals per day regime for I don't know how long now, I get two meals a day, period. I don't get to eat nearly as much as he does (I eat 500g of RMB's a day whereas STINKY eats 1200g), and now she wants to cut my little bit of fooooooooood down to even littler bit?????

I had to do something about it, so I went and collected some evidence just to prove to mum that I'm NOT FAT!


I am NOT FAT because......


I'm agile. I can duck the land shark attacks no problem.


I have great facial reflexes (it would be slower if I were FAT!) (mum: according to her that is)


See how fast I squinted when I saw the land shark coming?? This is my face from the picture above. Will you just look at that reflex!!



I'm NOT FAT....

I'm just BIG boned, with lots of muscle. You all know that muscles are more dense than flabs, so muscles weigh more.


No, I'm not an Oorang Airedale, I'm your regular sized Airedale measuring 24" at the withers. I am again, just BIG boned with a super deep chest, and yea ok.. built like a male... but NOT FAT!


I am NOT FAT because......

I only have one chin!!! Front view,


Side view,


(mum: hey, what's that flab under your chin??)



I am NOT FAT because.......

I have a perfect figure. Just look at my waist line!



I am NOT FAT because.......


I'm flat, just like the ground when I lie on my side. See, I'm so flat, you can almost mistaken me as the ground.



I am NOT FAT.......

These are not flabs, they are called,


Here, you want a better view at my breasts??


(mum: no, I'm totally not laughing at the location of your "breasts".)


THERE!!

I am NOT FAT, I am,


PRETTY




HOT



And



TEMPTING


That makes me PHAT not FAT!!!

(Thanks Texas, I just learned that from you at the flirt..er I mean, chat session!)


Anyway, all that evidence collecting made me really warm. I remembered Maggie and Mitch had ice cream the other day, so I reminded mum that maybe STINKY and I should get ice cream too.



Mum got two scoops, one for me, one for STINKY. I got to choose first because I'm the alpha, and guess what my EVIL mum did?? She got one REGULAR vanilla, and the other one - NON-FAT vanilla yogurt!!!

(NON-FAT on the left, REGULAR on the right)



My EVIL mum kept telling me I should eat the NON-FAT one even tho I obviously preferred the FAT one!! See how I stopped licking the NON-FAT one after a few licks?? Watch her moving her hand, placing the NON-FAT one in front of me!!!



GEEEEEZUS mum!

Fortunately, I did get the FAT one as I had wished,


STINKY got the NON-FAT one because he wasn't as picky as me, he loved the NON-FAT one.


Ice Cream beard!!!

34 comments:

Baily said...

you are not fat miss sunshade, you are very pretty, a PrettyDale!

nose licks
~baily

Peanut said...

You are beautiful Miss sunshade but if you mom puts you on a "diet" tell her that no salt green beans hlep fill you up with hardly any extra calories. I had to eat them when my mom fed me so much I was really really fat.

Simba said...

I'm glad I've had my 1st birthday, breasts and bottoms all in one post. I think your tag for Stinky was just fine.

Simba xx

Boo said...

that simba... i better check his every move from now on. apparently, showing some "fleshes" will turn him on! LOL

i don't think you are fat! i think you are... well, big bone!

wet wet licks

Boo

Suki said...

There's no way you're fat...but you are PHAT! :)

You are so lucky to get ice cream. I have only tasted little spoonfuls, but never a whole scoop!

Puggy kisses
Suki

FleasGang said...

Poor Stinky. By the time you finished "tasting" each of those scoops, his was half eaten! Hey did I see one of you two at Bark to the Park? Check the fleasblog to see if it's you ;-)

Faya said...

Poor poor Sunshade. You know there is enough place here if you want to come.... Swiss Ice cream are the best.... Kiss, Faya

umekotyan said...

As for it, should I think about the reduction in weight by the control of the appetite of sunshade or training?The ice cream is a high calorie. :)

from loved ume tyan

wally said...

You are sooooo NOT FAT! I think all that weight you gained was muscle in your muscle butt.

I had to go on a diet. I used to weigh over 53 pounds! I was large and in charge. Now I'm between 43 and 45--I'm small and in charge My ma ape was worried my weight went up when I started my RAW DIET but it was only 2 pounds and was totally cool. So I say FULL FAT FOR US!

wally.

ps. My sissy can eat like a horse and not gain weight. I totally feel your pain with the Stinky.

Putter said...

SunShade!

Let's reframe this, you are not by any means FAT, you are a strong girl and this is IMPORTANT for many reasons! You are athletic and strong that is what you are! Not FAT! BTW, when I had my muscle strain, swimming was part of my treatment, you might want to ask Mom if you can go back to swimming?:) Talk to you soon! Oh and I am so excited about your trip to come SEE Maggie and ME! I would have picked the Hummer too and I would also ride SHOT GUN! :) Talk to you soon, Sunshade!

jaffeboy said...

U look perfect, Sunshade. Don't let the hooman tell you otherwise. Good choice on the ice cream. Who cares about the non-fat yogurt. Actually, who cares about non-fat anything!!!

oh, did I mention U have got some hot butt. Ooops, I mean muscular butt.

Bogart said...

You're PERFECT just the way you are...

Love,
Bogart

Maggie said...

There is NO WAY that you are fat - and not even pleasingly plump! You're solid muscle - very inch of you!
BTW you're a very brave girl to allow needles in your head! OUCH!!!

Love ya lots,
Maggie

Asta said...

OOhhh Sunshade you're definetely NOT fat!!! quite gorgeous as a matter of fact. Every puppy knows more food and more excersize is the bestest formula. That ice cream sure looked good, can you imagine I've never had any yet??? This will be my first summer,I'm soooo ready to taste it. The video was very clear, which ice cream won your taste test..I'm glad you persevered.
Now that you're getting acupuncture, maybe you'll be able run more without hurting yourself..I hope so.
kisses Asta

Joe Stains said...

sunshade I would think y ou were pretty even if you were 80lbs!!!!! You should NOT get your food taken away, just start chewing through your lead and RUN FREE!!

Charlie said...

Sunshade, you're perfect!! What else can we say?
- Charlie

Fu Fu said...

Aw Sunshade, you're not fat. You're fluffy and cute. The yogurt does look very yummy


~ fufu

IndyPindy said...

Oh my...I was not prepared for photos like that! Mom wouldn't let me look at all of them...wonder why...

Herbie said...

Oh horrors! I totally understand how you feel! My M is always asking others if they think I'm fat! And then she says she wants to cut down my food. I tell her, I'm FLUFFY, not fat.... my bouncy, volumous fur makes me look bigger than I am!

maggie said...

your noooooooot fat , im 85 lbs and people say im verry skinny , and i defenantly not big boned , neither are you !!!!

Oscar Airedale said...

Yep, I agree, fluffy and muscley, not fat. You were sooo funny with the ice cream v low fat frozen yoghurt!

Licks
Oscar x

Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

No Way! You are not fat... You are Sexy Sunshade. How can someone be fat and sexy at the same time?
Your mom needs specs
(Dont let your mom read this)

Love
Boy

Amber-Mae said...

You are really Pretty, Hot & Tempting! You sure are a muscular girl huh? No wonder Stinky Jaffa is scared of you... LOL! You can be a wrestler Sunshade! You go girl!!!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

Ben_Benjamin said...

You are perPHAT !!!! darling.

Quinvale AstaLaVista Baby said...

Miss Sunshade, You get accupuncture and trips to a spa? You're not fat, you're a Diva! xxx Asta down under

Sweets-littlebigman said...

You are perfect Sunshade! Hopefully you don't have to go on a diet, because that would suck. Luckily, I have never had to go on a diet, being so tiny and all. I have never had ice cream. I have had yogurt and find it very yummy. I don't get it often enough, though. I think I have to get my Mom to give me more, because she eats it all the time.

Toodles,
Sweets

Jackson said...

You are totally PHAT! I rather like the big boned look myself! J x

maggie said...

hay sunshade , i tagged you also !!!!!!!!!!!!
love maggie#2

Luckie the Dachie said...

Hey Sunshade,
I don't think you look FAT. I think your Mom is just too sensitive. Hoomans always think that they are too *FAT*. I love those piktures showcasing your super FIT bod! Woo hoo!!

Liberty Doo Dah said...

Oh Sunshade!
You are NOT fat! ..and personally, I would've eaten BOTH those ice-creams! Hah!
Tell you're mum Green Beans are good for you and she can continue feeding you 2x or EVEN 3x a day!
AireHUGS!
Liberty

Marvin The Dog said...

A wee Rhyme for my Canadian Girl.

Called "Don't Have Body Issues"

"Miss Sunshade is not ever, ever fat,
One thing you can be sure of is that!

She is cutey pie, pretty and oh so sweet,
With lovely formed body and the sweetest Airedale feet.

I would fiercely BARK and have a huge big fight,
To anyone who criticised my Sweetheart Airedale Delight.

She is the bestest girl in the whole wide world to me,
Sunshade is really perfection you see.

ps Miss Sunshade - Pounds mean nothing to us now in the UK, we are all in Kilograms now! You are just perfect - who wants Posh Spice when I can see you!

love and licks Marvin xxxxx

PerfectTosca said...

Boy it's a good thing Stinky is young and dumb or you wouldn't have been able to pawn that non fat crap on him!

I started to bite my foot when you mentioned that your mom is going to reduce your kibble! This happened to me! Do NOT try this at home! I was beside myself when she reduced my kibble, let me tell you. You can't fool me! I count them! I know!

T-man said...

Miss Sunshade,
You do not look one bit fat!! You have a very shapely well-toned figure.

My mom is going to get acupuncture treatments for me too to help my sore back.

T-man

Boo said...

sunshade, i can't comment on your latest post. blogger been having problem for the past week and keep on turning off the comment. :(

wet wet licks

Boo

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