This morning, STINKY and I had a 10:30 appointment with my Auntie Janice. Mum had a sudden urge to empty out her bank account (she does that twice a year), and booked me in to have my gazillionth semi-annual blood test, with urine analysis. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm not anemic yet considering how much blood I have lost over the years. STINKY couldn't escape his ill fated fate, he was brought in to have his blood drawn too because "he was too calm". I'm by no means on STINKY's side, but can you tell, my mum has issues?? I bet you the moment STINKY starts to act perky and hyper, mum would be back with him to see Auntie Janice because "sudden change in behaviour means something is wrong". *extreme eyeroll*
Thanks to a big dog whose spleen decided to explode, my Auntie Janice had to do emergency surgery on him. So our appointment was moved back to 1:00 pm. Since live about 40 mins away, mum decided to take us to Ambleside Beach in West Vancouver until it was our appointment time. Yes, bye bye work, heeeeeello beach, and hellooooo work at 10 at night!
If you were to ask me, how much do I love the beach?
I would tell you, enough to make me smile and my tongue curl!!
That was of course, until a certain STINK bomb decided to follow me everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE!!
There were hoomans wanting to say HI to him because they could smell him from half way across the beach. So I told STINKY to "gooooooooo say hi". He went. I thought great, he's gonna walk off with one of those unfortunate strangers who petted him, but did he? NOOO, he came right back to ME after they petted him....
There were quite a few other unfortunate victims whose hands were permanently stained. Yes, I sniffed their hands, PHEW..., made my poo-poo face, and walked away. (mum: Sunshade is very aloof to strangers, she could careless if they petted her or not) I thought one of those people for sure were gonna report STINKY to the city you know for being an environmental hazard (for being too stinky), and someone would come and take him away.
To make things worse, people kept asking mum if I was STINKY's mom!!! OMG.. I almost fainted. Any son of mine won't stink like that, and I mean look at him, he's a little black mutt for all I can see!! HMMMMPH!
I was praying really hard that someone, just one brave person, would take him.
But nothing happened, he always came back to me on his own. WHY WHY WHY?? I told him to stay back and not stink up the ocean since I can't seem to get rid of him. Thankfully, he listened and stood back. MY ocean was fine.
He tried to make me look bad by running back to mum first when mum called us. The truth is, he was running and lagging behind me, so when mum called, he had a head start. (mum: and you only came because he was coming!!!)
(mum: here's my proof)
I dug for rockies,
But I came across a spot that PHEW... stunk!! STINKY must had been to the spot..
Since the sky was blue, the sun was shining, and I was at the beach. I thought about posing for some photos for my men. I mean, it just doesn't get sexier than that. Valentines Day is coming up. However, I had to play it slow. For all you younger girls out there, please pay close attention to the following, this is how you make your men pant and drool non-stop:
First, you show them only half of you, hide the sexy butt for now. Keep them wondering...
Second, roll onto your right side, act like you are really enjoying yourself. Make sure you don't show your face just yet.
Third, now roll onto the other side, with your right hind leg slightly lifted. yes, YES, like this.
Lastly, as soon as you see that your men are having trouble breathing or are panting like there is no tomorrow, then IT'S TIME. Time to reveal the pretty face. Make sure to give that seductive look from your eyes, pose properly so that your sexiest parts are closest to the camera. Then, SMILE, yes the seductive smile.
Mackie, Bogie, Dudley, and Marvin, are you guys still alright???
Couple more shots:
I'm working on a split, I'll get it, eventually.
Signature Sunshade SMILE!!
SIGH... time flew by so fast, and soon, it was time to leave the beach... Don't get be wrong, I love going to see my Auntie Janice, but leaving the beach part is just too hard. I really wasn't ready to leave yet. I heard faint mumbling sound (mum: I I bet you were the only one at the beach who didn't hear me CALLING!!), but I couldn't seem to locate the source. Really, I tried, but the sound of the waves bashing against the beach was just way too loud for me to locate the source of that mumbling sound...
(mum: PERFECT example of selective hearing)
BUT THEN... mum got all kissy with STINKY, and I just couldn't stand it.
To make it worse, she was heading towards SunshadeMOBILE with STINKY. MY SunshadeMOBILE!!!!!
Can you see, my mum never plays fair. Off we went to the vet.
I weighed: 60.8 lbs (YIPPEE! Down a couple pounds, I can beg more now!!!)
STINKY got his check up, and supposedly, he is healthy. I can't believe it.
How come he STINKS then??? That can't be healthy when you smell like...like..er.. STINKY all the time!
After our appointment, mum went to get a lunch box, she ate a little bit. Yes, I begged, and I drooled (rate: 1 droplet/1.5 secs). Since we were in the area of STINKY's scavenger hunt stores, mum stopped by In the Raw and Fetch to collect his tokens and had his pictures taken to bring in as proofs.
I was NOT happy. I mean, Fetch fine, since it's all assessory, but she left me in the car when she took STINKY to In the Raw!! In the Raw, it's all fooooood, lots of foooood, different kinds of foooooood, did I mention? FOOOOOOOD!!! Do you know how many treats I was denied by having to stay in the car? So I thought I better teach that woman a lesson - about leaving the alpha in the car while taking the omega into such a store.
No lunch for somebody!! I gotta admit, it wasn't an easy task getting to the lunch box. The EVIL mum hid it under neath the driver's seat. I had to basically snap my back so I could bend just enough between the steering wheel and the seat to get to the lunch box under the seat. Once I got hold of the bag, it was easy. I just pulled and pulled until the entire bag + lunch box was exposed from beneath the seat, then I brought it over to my back seat and enjoyed a lovely meal.
(mum: she must've been in a VERY awkward postition while she was trying to get the box. I can just imagine passerbys or cars driving by and seeing a big butt sticking up in the air from my driver's seat window LOL.)
On a brighter note, mum did buy me LOTS of bone bones tho from In the Raw, so that on top of the lunch box made the wait kind of worth it.... kind of.
I hadn't been back to this part of the river since the summer. The water was waaaaay colder than I had remembered. So I only got my feet wet.
I did chase some rockies. This is my very serious "rock-waiting" face.
I saw a dog in MY river....
If it's not STINKY it's somebody else messing up MY river. HMMMMPH! I wasn't happy, so I went and smoked a cigar.
Yes, I felt a little better after that. My feet got cold really fast, so we walked up and to the parking lot where I *always* chase/play with pine cones before heading home. Mum threw a couple of pine cones for me, and then she wanted to leave.
I said NOOOOO! So I hid in the ivys,
I was planning on just hiding there so mum couldn't see me, and I wouldn't have to leave. However, that EVIL mum asked me something...
So yes.. my head popped up, and I gave out my hiding whereabouts. I swear, it's my natural reflex to certain words...
I don't think it was right for my EVIL mum to take advantage of my vulnerability towards certain words. She should have played fair.
So when she tried to get me to leave again, I let him know exactly what I was thinking.
She really couldn't blame me since she was the one who cheated. I even got a witness who witness the whole thing. He'll come to my defense I'm sure.